Good or bad.
I never really understood this or came to the full realization of what this meant until having a special needs child. The impact others have on my son's life are HUGE and they can either be life changing in a good way, or life changing in a negative way.
Unfortunately, a few weeks ago we had an incident at church where I was told I could not drop Parker off because he is more work.
This impacted me. Greatly. But not in a positive way.
It's taken me a few weeks to really wrap my mind around everything that happened. Why it happened. And to really allow my heart to heal and not form scars, build up walls, or fill with resentment.
I know that the volunteer who spoke those words to me did not do it maliciously, and was really only telling me because they were short on volunteers and did not have enough people to help. But to single out a special needs child, while there are plenty of other children who were just as much work or more, really hurts.
It hurts deep.
I know that Parker is different. I know that we are a different family because we do not fit into the "regular" or "typical" category. But those little reminders are like a punch to the gut.
They reinforce the constant fears..
"You don't fit in"
"You are not as worthy as a typical family"
"Your child is different"
etc. etc. etc.
Parker will not remember this experience or be hurt as a result of this.
But I was. I was impacted greatly by just a few words.
And that's all it takes sometimes. Is just a few words to reinforce the fears that we try and run from . And then the battle begins again to try and overcome those and get back to a healthy place.
Fortunately we have had so many positive experiences of people accepting and loving Parker since he has been born. In fact, we have had many more positive experiences and impacts made than any negative ones.
But unfortunatley, just like in any situation, one bad experience can outweigh 100 positive ones and it is how you grow from those negative situations that really make you who you are.
I know that we are going to have many experiences that are going to test me, push me, draw me to my knees in desperation, and absolutely break my heart....
But I am SO incredibly thankful for all of the wonderful people in our lives who have walked beside us in this journey and made such a positive impact in our lives.
You may not know it, but just a few encouraging words, hugs, smiles, etc. to a special needs family can impact them greatly. Loving on our children and treating them with love and respect, allowing them to just be who they are eventhough it might not be "normal", talking to us like normal human beings....these things make such a large impact in our lives.
They allow us to overcome the bad experiences.
They help to heal our hearts and break down the walls.
They make us whole again.
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who has had such a great impact in our lives and loved not only us, but loved our precious Parker as well.
