Well I officially started back to work last Monday. The night before I was kind of a mess and was dreading the morning, but Nick and I spent lots of time talking and praying and asking God to be our strength because we didn't have it on our own. It's amazing how he always provides! The next morning when we dropped him off, I was surprisingly calm and at peace. I cried when we first got there but when we left, I really could feel God keeping me strong. When I got to work and people started asking me about Parker, I started to cry again....but after about an hour I was totally fine and each day this week got easier. Victoria, who watches Parker, is AMAZING!! I feel so blessed that we found her and Parker loves her and her helper Carmen. I think that even when I get to stay home in the future, I will probably send Parker to her for a day or two a week just so that he gets the interaction with the other kids and learns to share, etc. The other day when I picked him up, the kids were learning their numbers and colors in Spanish. I love how she is always teaching them new things!
Being back to work has actually been much better than I thought. My top strength on the "Strength's Finder" test is "Achiever"....which means you find satisfaction in accomplishing things and unless you accomplish tangible things each day, you do not feel fulfilled. I can definitley say that I forgot how much of an achiever I really am. I felt such a sense of accomplishment everyday after work because I was completing tasks. When I was staying home with Parker I was constantly trying to keep myself busy with cleaning the house, creating things on the computer, and finding things to "accomplish" while at home. So I can say it has kind of been nice to be back at work. I think working part time or working a few days from home would be the perfect set up! Hopefully something like that will work out sometime in the future.
I think I will still have my days where I really miss Parker and struggle through the day, but God has been so faithful to answer our prayers of helping me through this transition. Although my dream is still to be a stay at home mom, God has met me where I am at and is helping me process and even enjoy this new challenge.
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